Too fat to love food

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Pretty much all my life I’ve been big. I was the chubby child who cannot run or jump. I remember when it comes to playing; I would be the last to get chosen in a team.  Was my self-esteem affected? Yes, absolutely yes. I just wanted to be normal, to be seen normal like everyone else. When that didn’t happen, I decided to stop giving a toss about what everyone thought. Innocent nasty comments even from elders asking where am I going with my body as if I said I had a destination unsaid. That was my childhood struggle, weight. I grew up to be that same old chubby Zhan yet people are still amazed by how big I am compared to my sister. It’s as if I was once tinny and suddenly became this woman I am today, I give up shame.

Wait for it when someone learns about my love for food, lol. Immediately in their overused expired minds they will conclude and say: ‘’ that’s why you are this big’’.  Can I just love food healthily without being stereotyped as a junky that has an eating disorder? Can’t I enjoy the art of culinary because in my opinion my weight has nothing to do with my judgement? When will society accepts over weight chefs as normal? What makes me sick is when someone passes a remark to say: ‘’ she’s fat because instead of serving people she eats all of her cooking’s alone’’. I started my weight loss journey because I wanted to be healthy. I refuse to let people decide what’s good and bad for me, I should be the judge not the other way around. I still love and appreciate food even though in 23kg lighter.

I love food, food love me….let me marry my plate in peace.

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